Sept. 16, 2022 – You brought your computer home from work “for 2 weeks” in March 2020 and stayed home for 2 years. Virtual schools took over. Club meetings were cancelled. Gyms are closed.
Friends and relatives were no longer allowed to enter. Do you remember to avoid other people on the streets?
It’s gotten better since the outbreak, but we’ve remained in relative isolation far longer than expected. And that’s a little sad – and bad for us. Avoiding a virus can cause damage to your health. This is because connection and togetherness are essential for our well-being.
“We as humans are engineered by evolution to crave contact with other humans,” says Richard B. Slatcher, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Georgia. “This has been called the ‘need to belong,’ and it’s up there as a basic need with food and water.”
This makes sense. Primitive human beings who lived in harmony with each other were more likely find food, to share their genes and to survive.
We were suddenly thrust into IsolationSocial ties began to break down in 2020. The book Bowling by One 2 decades earlier. Author Robert D. Putnam lamented the decline in “social capital,” the value we get from connections and our sense of community support. The Atlantic A story called “Why You Never See Your Friends Anymore”COVID-19 was known for many months before we even heard about it.
These feelings of isolation were exacerbated by the pandemic. Even after getting vaccinated and boosted, many of us feel we’re not connecting as we would like. Some feel that politics has exacerbated the gap.
Care? Experts agree. Health and longevity are strongly tied to social relationships. In a well-known study, 2010. PLOS MedicineIt was concluded that social relationships were just as important for health as smoking cessation, and even more beneficial than exercise.
This review, which included data from 148 studies, showed that people with stronger social ties were 50% more likely (that is, to not die from causes such as cancer or heart disease) to survive the 7.5-year period.
The evidence continues to mount. American Heart Association Published a statementAccording to August’s report, social isolation and loneliness are linked with a 30% higher risk of heart attackAnd stroke.
“Given the prevalence of social disconnectedness across the U.S., the public health impact is quite significant,” Crystal Wiley Cené, MD, chair of the group that wrote the statement, said in a Press release.
According to data, the organization confirmed our suspicions. Loneliness and isolation increased during the pandemic. This was especially true for adults aged 18-25, older adults, women and low-income individuals.
Your Shrinking Circle
In the first year pandemicAccording to a 2022 study, there was a slight increase in loneliness, psychological distress, as well as a decrease of life satisfaction. Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health.
For about 1 in 4 people, social circles shrank, says study author Emily Long, PhD, “even after lockdown restrictions were eased.”
When your circle shrinks, you tend to keep those closest to you – the people who probably are most like you. It is harder to find the variety of opinion and points of view you need when you chat with someone from your pickleball league or even a stranger.
“Our exposure to diverse people, lifestyles, and opinions dropped significantly,” says Long. Many of us have witnessed our relationships with others deteriorate or even end completely due to disagreements over COVID restrictions or vaccinations.
This happened with acquaintances, once-close pals, or family members as their views on hot-button topics came to the forefront – topics we may have avoided in the past to keep the peace.
Some of these relationships may not be rebuilt, Long says, though it’s too early to say.
How to Make Better Connections online
Many of us went online for social interaction. Zoom, Instagram and Facebook helped us to connect?
Yes, it is possible.
“It might be more difficult at times, but people can establish meaningful relationships without being physically close,” says John Caughlin, PhD, head of the Communication Department at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, who studies “computer-mediated communication.”
It all depends on how it is used. Late-night “doom scrolling” is not relationship-building. But you can forge new or stronger connections via social media if you’re “treating each other as people,” he says.
Here’s one way: Don’t tap a lazy “like” on a post, but instead leave a thoughtful comment that adds value to the conversation. Perhaps you can share your thoughts or offer support. Give a restaurant recommendation if they’re traveling.
Caughlin warns that social media was a minefield in the aftermath of the pandemic. People vented their opinions about vaccinations, staying home, and wearing masks. It was easy to see who agreed with you and how you could rethink your relationships with others.
It’s tempting to view social media as a scourge. Caughlin suggests that it may be our inborn panic response to new technology. Surprisingly, overall research – and there has been a lot – has shown that social media has little impact on well-being, he says.
Recent Stanford University, meta-analysisBetween 2006 and 2018, 226 studies examined the link between social media usage and well-being. The result: Zero. While some studies do show a connection between social media and anxiety and depressive symptoms, it is possible that this could be due to the fact that those who use social media are more likely to experience depression. DepressionPeople with anxiety or depression are more likely spend more time on social media to distract themselves.
Make someone happy, including you
This sounds familiar? This is why you are more likely to stay in touch with friends via social media than call, text, or meet face-to-face. If that sounds like you, you’re not alone.
But if you reverse course and start reaching out again, it’s likely that both you and the other person will benefit. The latest research is from American Psychological Association on nearly 6,000 people found that when someone reaches out to us – even if it’s with a quick text – we deeply appreciate it. The study was not only about the pandemic, but researchers say that the results could help people rebuild relationships, especially if they’re not confident about trying.
At the same time, Slatcher, the Georgia professor, notes that more screen time “is not the solution” to loneliness or separation.
“All the work out there has shown that social media use isn’t associated with people being happier or less depressed,” he says.
Slatcher says that two of the most important parts of building and maintaining relationships is:
- Self-disclosureIt means to share information about yourself or be vulnerable, and to let others know your personal information.
- ResponsivenessThis simply means to respond to what another person is saying and ask follow-up questions. You might also share something about yourself without interrupting the conversation.
These are all common in real life. Not so on social media.
“Both men and women feel happier when they feel emotionally close with another person, and that’s more difficult to do online,” Slatcher says.
Turns out the strongest connections – those best for your well-being – happen when you put the phone down.
Surprisingly, the Pandemic Connection has a Bright Spot
During the pandemic we felt more divided than before, which was confirmed by Pew research. According to some estimates, Americans have the lowest level of social trust since World War II. Frederick J. RileyExecutive director of Weave: The Social Fabric Project, The Aspen Institute. If neighbors within a community don’t trust each other, they can’t trust society at large.
But it’s not all bad news.
Riley states that researchers have observed stronger connections between communities during the pandemic. These people run errands to help elderly neighbors, give supplies and clothing, organize family-friendly get-togethers, create community gardens, etc.
The “we’re all in this together” mindset arose early in the pandemic, Long and colleagues found. A meta-analysis of 2022 Psychological Bulletin found that there’s been more cooperation among strangers. This may be due to greater urbanization or living alone – distance from our close-knit crew forces some to cooperate with others when they wouldn’t otherwise.
This, too, is healthy: A sense of belonging in your community, or “neighborhood cohesion,” as a 2020 StudyAccording to Canadian researchers, it has been shown to reduce the risk of strokes and heart attacks as well as early death. It can also help with Mental health.
You can tap into this by, say, volunteering at your child’s school, attending religious services, joining a FitnessGoing to festivals or group events in your locality. According to the study authors, these activities can give you a sense of self-identity, increase self-esteem, lower stress levels, and help you feel less lonely. It fosters the belief that we can effect meaningful change in our local communities.
Certainly, we’ve all been arguing a lot these days – gun control, Abortion, politics. Riley believes that deeper issues such as creating a safer environment for children and creating a safe community will help us to transcend the hot-button topics.
Sharing goals brings people together, he says, and that’s fueled by that innate urge for connection and togetherness.
“I am really optimistic for what the future will hold,” he says. “We’ve been in this place [of social distrust] before, and it’s the people in local communities showing that anyone can stand up and make the place they live in better.”
