The internet’s horny side: A history

People on the internet have been obsessive about sex since the beginning.

That’s the argument laid out in a new book by journalist Samantha Cole, How Internet Sex has Changed and How Internet Sex Has Changed. Cole examines early internet history to demonstrate how sexual content was part of the internet’s early days. This had a profound impact on how the online space deals about identity, community and consent. From identity play on early bulletin board sites to the rise of online pornography as an industry unto itself, Cole makes the case that you can’t make sense of the internet without sex — even if today’s major platform companies would like to.

Note on content: This interview explains multiple sexual practices using simple language. These topics are not recommended for readers who aren’t comfortable with them.

The book argues that sex was an integral part of the internet’s beginnings. Why do you believe that?

It’s just such a part of human nature to want to connect as deeply as possible to other people, whether it’s online or not — and the internet opened up a new venue for that. People could now be whatever they wanted. They could adopt a different persona than what they had before. They could express themselves in ways they had never experienced before. Many people find that this extends into sexuality very quickly.

It’s interesting reading those old message boards where people describe themselves as mythological creators or blobs or whatever they wanted to be. They would then have deep, insightful, philosophical discussions about love, sex, and relationships. They would often meet up again and go out on dates. Sometimes they were married and had children. In the book, I said that there are real people who exist only because bulletin boards connected to their parents.

There’s an immediate security concern there because you have people adopting pseudonyms to share information that’s otherwise really private. But it seems like, at this stage, the internet didn’t have a ton of tools for keeping your identity private.

Right — just to get in the door of a BBS like this, you had to call someone on the phone and give them your name and credit card info. The admin and you were able to have a tangibly personal conversation. Many communities allow you to use any name you like once you’re inside. However, some others will insist that you use your real name. Others would ask you to include your email address at end of each post, so that people can contact you directly. It’s an interesting divide: what level of reality do you want to experience through the internet? The internet was used to make people pretend they could be or try things they wanted. This led to the rise of more sexualized communities.

How does this change when you look at the internet today, which is built on companies such as Google and Facebook that can treat sexual content very differently.

The process becomes complicated when there are multiple people managing the hobbyist bulletin board and scanning Playboy images to make decisions. People can get really frustrated not having a central person to talk to about what’s happening on this platform that is a big part of their life. This has certainly been a significant shift. We have these huge monopolies that are just running the show for us now, and it’s hard not to feel like you don’t have any of that control left.

These companies also have financial obligations and are dependent on banks and payment processors. They must push this content off their platform in many cases. So just seeing that change, it’s hard not to imagine the internet is going to keep getting more sanitized and less sexual.

You describe a lot of early moments of sex panic in a way that seems very similar to what we see now — but then, in other places, the internet seems to have made people more accepting. Is it possible to think that the conversation about moderating explicit sexual content is changing?

The legal landscape is becoming more familiar to the public. If you asked the average person in the late ’90s if they knew about something like the Communications Decency Act, they would have no idea what you were talking about. Now, there are many people who have real opinions and have read up on Section 230. It’s all a lot more visible, and the conversation is getting more heated because everyone has a stake in it. There are many more people who rely on the internet to do their jobs, whether they are sexually or otherwise. So people are paying attention now in a way that they haven’t been in previous decades

How has the internet changed sex, the second part to the title? All through the book, you can see people getting turned on to new things or exploring themselves in ways that wouldn’t have been possible offline. Are you a believer that the internet has made sex more extreme or specific?

Access to like-minded people is a great way to make a difference in the world. I did a lot of research on fetish communities and kink communities. For many people, prior to finding those communities, they believed they were the only ones. So it’s been really interesting to see that grow up with the internet. Suddenly, you have thousands and thousands of people reading forums about their specific fetish and talking about what they’re into and why they’re into it. 

I was astonished by the forums that discussed how to seduce your own dick. It was just a place for people to exchange tips and ideas about how to do it, what exercises to do. Because you wouldn’t say it out loud to anyone, and just to see if they were interested, this kind of information is impossible to find without the internet. But suddenly, you have access to all these people all over the world who are like, “Yes, I want to trade advice about how to suck my own dick.”

The book didn’t like that one.

Are you unsure if the internet is creating these needs or making it easier to express them? 

It can be difficult to know. You can definitely discover something new that you didn’t know you were into. Or you might realize you were into it all along, and you didn’t know it.

Recently, I wrote a story about People who were interested in blueberries and blueberrification. They were all interested because they had previously seen the show. Charlie & the Chocolate Factory when they were kids and said, “Oh, that made me feel a way,” and carried that with them for years without telling anyone. They then go online and discover that there are many others who feel the same way. That’s a transformational change. It’s not just, “I found this thing I didn’t know I was into,” but also “Now I can really express myself and buy a blueberry suit because I see other people are doing it, too.”

This community makes you feel less odd. It’s less isolating. I think that’s a huge part of why people have so much shame about their sexuality and their porn use. They feel like they’re the only one who wants this. When you find out you’re not the only one, that can be revolutionary.

The Internet changed the way that women sex: A historyOn sale November 15th