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- Even though my mom was poor, she always had money for the joy of having no necessities.
- Because of the stress we experienced with my father, happy spending was our lifeline.
- As an adult, I still budget for joy — it saved me when COVID-19 hit and I was worried for my health.
Concerned about Money savingYou can buy yourself a cone. That is all I mean metaphorically.
As a child, I would see carnival lights as I drove to school. My mom would postpone my chores so that I could take the tilt a-whirl. We had zero disposable income, yet we’d play games until our arms brimmed with prizes and buy cotton candy neither of us actually liked — just for the joy of walking around with pretty pink and purple puffs.
The point was joy. My mom kept money in her savings for joy, as though our lives were on it. They did, in a very real sense.
My mom sacrificed so that we could have joyful ‘nonessentials.
My childhood was filled with these activities. My sociopathic father terrorized me. The entire income of my mom went to fighting for a cause. legal system which readily gave me to himIt is ready for abuse. My mom was so determined to give my sister and me happy memories — like traveling to EverywhereMcDonald’sBoth sidesCollect at the Canada-Michigan Border Everywhere dalmatian from the “101 Dalmatians” Happy Meals — that joy had its own category in our budget.
My mom used to buy stale discount donuts at the grocery store for her breakfast and lunch so she could always say yes to spontaneous skeeball games and carousel rides. Her philosophy — that spending money on “non-essential” pick-me-ups is actually pretty damn essential — kept us mentally (and financially) afloat.
Every money expert will tell you to cut back on daily coffee and weekly movie nights. These happy-making “discretionary expenses” are the best to eliminate when budgeting. But when I regularly spend money on inexpensive things that bring me joy, I have no interest in high-cost purchases — like vacations or home improvements — that would put me into debt.
I live by her lessons.
My mom’s “joy’s a staple” mindset is so deeply embedded in my approach to finance that during the pandemic, (March 2020, when everyone was still unsure and panic was my only emotion), I had daily smoothies and teas delivered to my home.
Because I am disabled and immunocompromised, I began to hunker down before it was mandatory. If the world were ending, I was sure to share freshly baked croissants and my cat with it.
It was definitely more extravagant than your average Starbucks. As I picked up my goodies from the porch, my neighbors thought I was trying to poke my tongue through a curtain. I could see what they were thinking. “Most of us have lost our jobs and she’s the one who has them,” It’s all about living life to the fullestBuy (expletive). Danishes
But I had lost work, too. I’d also had to deal with trauma. I knew that I needed an extra boost of joy temporarily to get through it. Because this was not stress spending, I knew that I would be able to save money over the long-term. I wasn’t buying shoes to get an instant adrenaline rush. I was enjoying joy as I accepted my place in the world. “High risk of death” COVID-19 because of my autoimmune disorder. It was possible because I had to make changes to my spending.
The extra cost was not as severe as I thought. I stopped going out to walk my dog, which wiped out Uber trips, acupuncture, hair appointments, and acupuncture from my budget. The rest of it was covered by spending less every month. I was willing to treat myself to semi-regular icecream, so long as it meant I could keep my old Android rather than spending a lot of money on the latest iPhone.
To keep my budget balanced, I am open to making trades
I have significantly more savings now than I had pre-pandemic. Although the excess of pastries lasted for a few months I didn’t stop buying small pick-me ups like stickers and stationery. I was able to enjoy the joy of them and resolve to do more than just cover temporary expenses. Soon, I was able to make additional income through exciting new opportunities and a revised pandemic budget.
It’s because I know what it’s really like to have to budget joy in my expenses. An emergency can leave you on the porch of a friend in the dark, and you must accept an envelope containing $1,000 cash to pay a deposit.
It is costly to be disabled. It can be costly. 28% More IncomeFor a disabled adult, the same standard of living is possible as for someone who is not disabled. I had to make a decision about whether I wanted to live from paycheck to paycheck. 61% of AmericansDo, or if you want to invest in joy. Joy was my choice, just like my mom.
I accepted trade-offs — like living in a smaller place and not owning a car — and both my bank account and mental health have thanked me. I have never had to stop myself from feeling giddy. GleeI would buy my dog a collar called “Golden Girls”. Every time I see a carnival, my mom grabs me and we go buy cotton candy to watch the wind blow it around.
