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- My income comes from my writing and unpaid motherhood work.
- This budgeting strategy gives my unpaid labor value — it recognizes that I work 12-14 hours a day.
- It’s because of this that I cringe whenever I hear “gently employed” moms like mine called.
This essay is part “Home Ec: The Economics and Practices of Stay-at–Home ParentingPersonal Finance Insider’s series “The Financial Reality of Staying Home with Your Kids”
My husband and me Set a budgetFor our family of three, soon to become four. My husband’s income appears under “income” and mine as well. My husband gets one line item for his salary. I get two. One for my part-time unpaid work and one for the thousands we have saved each month as a mom who works full-time.
The unpaid labor balances in the expense column so there is no positive cash flow, but it shows up on the budget.
My conversations with other parents have shown that it is rare for a parent who stays at home to see their monetary worth on the family budget. The American Family Survey shows that only one in five US parents stays at home. Pew Research CenterThese parents are entitled to be fully recognized for their financial contributions.
I chose to be a freelancer and stay home, rather than working full-time. Most of the money was spent on childcare.
My case was different. I was working full-time up until the birth of my son, but I refused to pay for daycare, nannies or nanny shares because it was too expensive. You are not alone. According to McKinseyFor 80% of families childcare costs exceed the recommended affordability levels set by Department of Health and Human Services.
My take-home after childcare was comparable to what I could earn as a freelancer so I decided to stay home and freelance. Our bottom line would not change whether I returned to work part-time. Other families are in the same situation. Similar situation.
My workday usually lasts between 12-14hrs. The majority of my time is spent caring for my 3-year old son. This includes all of the duties you would expect from a daycare provider or nanny in terms of education, skill development and basic behavioral training, exercise routines, food prep, safety, sanitation, and healthcare.
I am also a journalist so I work on my assignments while my son sleeps.
If I was a nanny for someone else’s children, the work I do would be more valuable.
It’s not an easy job, yet people still refer to parents like me as “gently employed.”Stay-at-home parents might be seen more aggressively employed if they spoke more about our monetary worth.
If I was a nanny for another person and used my paycheck to pay someone else to care for my child’s needs, society would recognize the value of my childcare work. Yet, many stay-at-home parents don’t get the recognition they deserve for performing the same work in their own homes.
Salary.comThe median salary for stay-at home parents in 2020 and 2021 would exceed $184,000. This figure assumes the outsourcing of an array of high-cost services — including a chief operating officer, event planner, private driver, and kitchen manager, to name a few — but it makes a point regardless.
This was also true during the COVID-19 epidemic, which led to the Marshall Plan for Moms. Girls Who Code, a non-profit, created the campaign to improve moms’ workplaces and change our views on motherhood.
Many people argue that there was a child care crisis in the country long before the pandemic. This spotlighted the issue when many parents had to take their children from daycares and schools to become stay-at home parents.
My opinion is that stay-at-home parents should be acknowledged for the financial benefits it brings.
For “not making any money” and “not having real jobs”, stay-at home parents can often be financially invisible. This rhetoric is misleading and inaccurate. It also fuels the flame of what some call the “The” Mommy WarsThe unfortunate name for the perceived animosity among mothers who work outside more than inside the home. Parents like myself have found a way to achieve a balance and make some extra money while still maintaining their careers.
I belong to too many Facebook mom groups. It is not uncommon for people to get angry about the decision of whether or not to work outside the home. One person might say that “not working” is a “luxury,” but they don’t know anything about the person’s earnings, benefits and leave, or how much they earn. Or even how many children they have.
The judgments might be lessened if we speak more about the monetary worth of unpaid childcare and start at home with personal budgets.
