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All the best for Thursday! It’s all right. It’s all good. Liz Truss, the major news of the day has resigned. This raises the question: “Who?” Just kidding. It’s time again to report the news that nobody else will.
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NARRATOR: We’ll report it down if it happens up there. You’re watching Gazoombagate: Canada 2023. Week five
Yes, week five. This story allowed us to separate fact from fiction. This is week five of our exclusive, never-ending and sometimes overwrought and completely unnecessary coverage on the Canadian high school shop teacher who has prosthetic breasts as large as Trinidad and Tobago. We’ll be at the bottom of this top if that’s all I do. It wouldn’t be possible for me to actually report, as that would be absurd. Let’s do a recap. Person responsible for recapping.
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GREG GUTFELD According to the Toronto Sun she was once a girl who began to identify as female last year. She also started wearing huge prosthetic breasts in class. It’s unclear if this is a scam or if it was just an error in converting bra sizes from inches to metric. The school wants to see this scandal disappear and that we all can move on to the next thing. But I’m not. I was breastfed as a child so this intrigued me. We’re the only television station that closely monitors the Ontario transgender educator with the larger prosthetic breasts. While I don’t know what that means about us, we just want to keep everyone informed.
Terrible. Do you know what? We promised that we would continue to keep our eyes on the story and update you as needed. There are many. First, because of the international outrage over this scandal which has now surpass the other Canadian scandal – oh, Justin! Are you guys really fans? Oh my God.
After the scandal over the teacher’s appearance, the Ontario College of Teachers is currently reviewing its professional standards. This review was requested by Stephen Lecce, Education Minister. He expects teachers to demonstrate professionalism to students. If you don’t know what I mean, this teacher certainly looks like a pro. This could lead to the teacher being fired for admitting that this was a troll stunt. He must cover everything. It is best to wear a loose-fitting sweater or a tent.
GREG GUTFELD: FOCUS ON SMALL TALK, NOT WOKE TALK
Curtis Ennis is the local director for education. He has been the focal point for questions about giant plastic boobs. The board can’t comment on individual employees. They need to act in a manner that’stays true and committed to human rights’, respects the privacy of our students, staff and students, and ensures their safety and well-being.
Yes, it was no help. When they don’t find a moose, Canadians tend to hide behind words. This week, the board met. Rebel News’ David Menzies, a blonde wig-wearing man from Rebel News, arrived with a short skirt, tight top, and large fake breasts. He was confronting the board about their inaction. Or he was looking for a husband. He is very attractive.
The surreal story also affected many candidates for public school board elections. Parents need to be able to see where their children stand, just like a man in a gown who has to urinate. I’m sure. That punchline is a very long journey. It was something I pondered for a long time. Parents are now telling candidates how incongruous the teacher’s behaviour is in the classroom. One candidate said that the’sentiment in the classroom is overwhelmingly negative. I guess that’s how Canadians say people are sick of this ********.
Some people claim that it’s not a top topic, but I find it hard to believe. It should be among the top two issues. Look at the nipples. They are so outrageous that they need to be blurred. The school must force the children to stay warm in class so they don’t lose an eye. It is shop class, so the children are wearing safety glasses most of the day. This is very useful for pop quizzes. Or pops out.
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One candidate mocks parents’ concerns by saying that “using one individual as a point-of-controversy in the election adds fuel for the fire of populist absurdity.” Oh, yeah, you’re right. We should wait until at least 15 to 20 more teachers don giant fake WMD **** before parents make an issue of it. Sincere disclosure is required for these candidates regarding fake plastic breasts. That’s exactly what I said. But that’s me.
The big question is still: What the hell is up there in Ontario? Americans don’t sleep well with these giant boulders hanging above them 24/7. Is it really a trans-teacher or a prank? Can the US not help with this international disaster? This sounds like an admiral Levine job. She is a hero.
Let’s face facts. What is the teacher’s motivation to get to work? That’s a thought you might have. These are more than smart cars. It’s absurd that a reporter doesn’t catch the teacher at school so he or she can put the breasts on in the lot. Has he or her removed the driver’s seat so they can steer from the back? You see, these are things that I think about. It’s not necessary. And where are the investigative journalists when you really need them. They are probably covering silly stuff like the economy or wars. These are some real boobs.
