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- After having two children, I lost touch of the daily financial affairs of my family.
- Although it was not something I liked, I was glad to step in when my husband became more busy.
- I now have more control and my husband is having wonderful weekly conversations with me about our money.
This essay is part “Home Ec: The Economics and Practices of Stay-at–Home ParentingPersonal Finance Insider presents “The financial realities of staying at home with your children” in a series called “The Realities of Staying at Home With Your Children.”
My first son was born a few months after I became a full-time freelancer. I promised myself that I would continue to be involved in the finances of our family, particularly since I was still making a respectable monthly salary through my freelance writing company.
But, two babies later and four years later, the truth is, I wasn’t involved in the day to day of our family budget, billing, and cost cutting. Yes, I was very familiar with our finances. investment strategyCredit usage and long-term financial goals.
That all changed a few short months ago. Because my husband was more busy at work, I became the financial manager. This included auto-paying our bills and negotiating lower rates. Amazon grocery budget and weekly groceryI will only be able to use and pay off a new credit card under my name.
This has been an incredible empowering experience for me as a mom-at-home worker. It also helped our bottom line because I was able cut costs and see things differently from my husband who had to do it when it was his job.
Our roles flipped
Being a feminist by nature, it was difficult to be with my kids and manage our finances. It felt a little…outdated. As a parent, I felt like I was contributing more to the family’s financial well-being and that my income had decreased.
And while this may sound morbid, I rest easy at night knowing that should something ever happen to my husband or my marriage, I can take care of things — I know the ins and outs of our financial situation, our expected monthly inflow and outflow, our investment portfolios, and our various account numbers and passwords. I’ve witnessed one too many elderly family members who’ve lost a partner not only grieve that loss but also struggle to get their finances in order in the process to let it happen to me.
Bill-slashing was my new hobby
My husband works full time at a demanding job and is not available to take calls outside of business hours. My schedule is somewhat flexible. I get a few hours uninterrupted time each day during nap times or school days.
When I took over family finances and had a look at all the bills every month, I was stunned by how high some were. Is it $300 for cable and internet? Unreal! Additional $200 on cell phones It was really a lot.
I made a list with our largest bills and began to work. Some of them, such as our monthly mortgage payment were fixed. Others could be reduced.
It took just a few calls, some waiting on hold and the elimination of services that we didn’t use or don’t need. I was able to lower our cable bill by $70 per month and our cell phone bill $50 per month. We also cut our meal-delivery costs by half. It was simple to take money that we had and put it in other places. So satisfying.
Our bottom line was improved
According to them, every relationship has a saver and a loser. Although it hurts to admit it, I’m the one who spends in my relationship. It could be that I dress our children and change their shoes and clothes as they grow out of them. However, I do enjoy wearing nice clothes and shoes so it’s not all their fault. It’s not just the house that I take care of, but also any other incidental purchases.
Once I was in control of our finances, I cut back on my spending. It was much easier for me to stick to the budget (and cutback where I could) when my main responsibility was to manage our budget day to day, make the inflow/outflow match, ensure we met our savings and investment goals, and have a little bit of fun.
Our relationship with money has changed for the better
My husband and I still manage our daily spending, budgeting, and bills. Both of us check our balances every day, pay bills, and make sure we are on track with our monthly investments.
And while me managing our money is working for now, it may switch again in the future — and that’s OK. We know we both are equally able to handle things, and that’s a huge win.
However, something happened for us. We talked more about money because we were both actively involved (pun intended) with the management of our money. Weekly money meetings were established to ensure that we are on the right track with our spending and financial obligations. If not completely, our fights over money decreased. My new role allowed me to thrive and I was very grateful for the feeling of agency.
Recently, as we were discussing a major purchase, my husband asked me if we could afford it. My husband asked me if we could afford this purchase. I was able to confidently answer, “Yup.” It was quite good.
